|
PROGRAM OUTCOMES:
Melinda, an online program participant, shares her results from
a nature-connecting activity.
.
HEALING WITH NATURE FOR DIVORCE AND ABANDONMENT RECOVERY
I read the chapter
on The Nature of Abandonment and then I went for a walk. I asked
for consent and thought about the
activity and what evolved for me with my breath was to run hard
for a while and then to walk to feel the tension in my lungs
and the need to breath hard to get enough air. I found that no
matter how I tried to control my breath, my body would fight
to get the air it needed.
I slowed down and considered
the issue of abandonment. I know this is sensitive for me--I
have this "betrayal by a loved one" story. My brother,
who was my best exploring buddy growing up, killed himself many
years ago. At the time I felt completely left alone and unable
to process his death. I feel that he is at peace when I think
about him now, but I know the impact his death had on me is not
fully disclosed. I then married my best friend and had a great
story about us as a couple but then he found someone else when
our kids were very young. The sense of being abandoned in both
cases when I really needed them to be there, was strong.
At this stage, several years
divorced and daily walking the edge to find a good way to parent
with a former partner, I have a real sense of freedom from an
energy pattern. Systems thinking has been the best thing to help
me realize that I had a system of thought and action with my
former husband that eventually had to change and ultimately it
has been for the good.
I have never felt abandon in
my relationship with nature--nature has been the healer and the
wise elder who shows me that using a systems perspective pulls
me out of the stories I created and into a fuller relationship
with myself. I know that healing my stories with people will
enable me to more fully connect with nature because my true nature
will be released from old stories...
Whew, a lot in this one--the
calm green of the new leaves and the still water of Haro Strait
were with me on this walk and are my witness as I continue to
peel away the layers that get in the way of truth...
The three things I learned
were
Let go
Let go
Let go
I discovered that I am someone
who is open to learning and growth from any situation, who finds
solace in open spaces.
I am never abandoned when I look at a situation through a different
lens. My classmate says he thinks "We feel abandoned by
God because we personalized spirit, and forgot that the spirit/energy/force
is imbued within everything. We were socialized to believe our
woes and suffering were deserved because we weren't worthy somehow.
This all came about when the peaceful cooperative cultures of
the early neolithic (8-10,000 years ago) were conquered by destructive
warring cultures that ruled by force and who saw spirit as separate.
Then, over the course of centuries, we formalized our abandonment.
A few days ago my kids and
I went to a place called False Bay during a negative tide. As
you can guess from the name, False Bay during a low tide empties
out and it is great fun to walk the bay floor all the way out
to the mouth where the rollers are coming in from the exposure
to the south. We see all kinds of algae, clams, worms, birds...
I thought about the tension
and relaxation that creatures that live in the extremes of the
tides experience--exposure to the sun and wind for hours at a
time and then to be covered by feet of water at other times.
Their ability to navigate extremes helps me to see that I have
that ability too. While recently camping for a couple of weeks--I
noticed how my kids and I were very comfortable in any weather--we
had a tiny tent to retreat too and it usually took darkness to
draw us inside--but many other people camping in very big and
deluxe rigs would flee inside if a cloud passed over the sun.
The safety of inside runs deep in our culture--we fear heat,
cold, rain, snow...I find the more relaxed I am about temperature
and climate, the greater the range of comfort I enjoy. It comes
down to asking for consent all the time.
The polarity of tension and
relaxation can help us to wake up and to recognize that we always
have a choice in the matter.
I think we all experience stress and when we sense the tension
from those feelings-- we have a choice to transform them into
something else--relaxation, acceptance... "We are not our
feelings" is a statement of freedom to choose and not get
caught in the trap of reaction or response that we have developed
throughout our lives.
Act now.
Master Organic
Psychology by doing it.
Explore it from our homepage
Read
Additional Student Reports
.
Contact us at 360-378-6313 mailto:nature@interisland.net,
http://www.ecopsych.com
|
