An and
sampling of the printed menu Mike Cohen distributes at his performances
and an article
link:
The Menu of Antique
Songs
Questions: about long forgotten characters and
their stories
Answers: found in museum quality songs from
the folk tradition.
Collected and performed
by
Michael J. Cohen
Accompanied by 5-string
banjo, guitar and accordian
INSTRUCTIONS:
Pick the question(s) that interest
you and I'll sing you an old time song that holds an answer to
them.
(Below are 70 of the song questions
from the 252 songs in the collection)
1. Who regretted not playing
in pooks of hay?
2. Who talked between two armies,
like brothers,?
3. Why would Saro give her
heart to a freeholder?
4. What happened to ugly and
mishapened sister Sally?
5. Who slept in old log barns
with his turkey?
6. Who smoked a cigar without
lighting it first?
7. Why was Rex thought to be
a king?
8. What kind of refugee do
you find in orchards?
9. How did a shy rat become
bold and defiant?
10. Where do the green waves
blow your time away?
11. How would George Penny's
renters end up in jail?
12. What makes a sailor go
home to the North Country?
13. Near where do you find
supper on the ground?
14. What things should girls
beware of when courting?
15. Who encouraged a bum by
taking him to her kitchen?
16. Who had some ol' gal telling
lies on her?
17. Whose hat was in the hat
rack where no hat oughtta be?
18. What bird feared the hand
of God and face of the dead?
19. How did a wild boar influence
somebody's love life?
20. She wanted to marry him,
so why did she say "no"?
21. What foolishness filled
the empty lives of young folks?
22. Why would you want to be
a lizard in the spring?
23. How did John escape from
prison by fixing his shoes?
24. What died with the buffalo
killed on the range?
25. What roving jewel was given
empty bottles?
26. What happened when Mom
left with Shallow Brown?
27. What is a good deterrent
for bigotry against the Irish?
28. Why did Miss Bailey hang
herself in her garters?
29. Who lost his pay for flying
on the job?
30. Where did foreman Mean
Jim Mitchell keep his shanty?
31. Can a common sailor win
the heart of a Squires lady?
32. What was the question of
a mermaid to her son?
33. What profession gave a
Rocky Mountain high?
34. Why didn't Uncle Bob Hawkins
wear a white shirt?
35. What boys should women
hop-up on without fear?
36. How does Lady Fortune stop
fortune wheels in Dublin?
37. What possessed Billy Grimes
to change a mother?
38. Who started a war with
hammers, picks and shovels?
39. Where did a raccoon get
more simmons than he wanted?
40. How does a miller determine
who inherits his mill?
41. What town used to pay colored
folks to see them bow?
42. What are the risks of washing
a small baby?
43. When it was raining cats
and dogs, who got the skunk?
44. What animals are hidden
at the Wild West Show?
45. Who forgot combinations
to combination underwear
46. Why did people eat rotten
fruit off the ground?
47. What preoccupied a sailor
with roses and posies
48. Where did the pretty maiden
chew tobacco?
49. Where did the preacher
go with the collection?
50. Where do sailors women
wear baskets on their head?
51. What occurred as the wind
blew across the wild moor?
52. Is it worth keeping a dilapidated
arm chair you inherit?
53. How did Howard make pretty
girls hop so high?
54. Will a workman revenge
moving his father's grave?
55. What child was bought for
a bottle of fine whiskey?
56. Why did William Morgan
need a Texas oil well?
57. What are the other words
to Jingle Bells?
58. Do pigs have any pride
with regard to alcoholism?
59. Who got scraped from slopes
and poured from boots?
60. Where were roaming trials
and troubles first begun?
61. Is it bad to go on the
moor without wearing your hat?
62. Where is the best place
to haul down your sails?
63 What kind of deficient house
did Tom Height build?
64. Who inappropriately came
to his wedding in an oxcart?
65. What did folks do for Joe
after shooting the buzzards?
66. When times get hard, what
gets carried away?
67. Who shaved his face with
a hammer?
68. What did Risky Rob tell
Robin to say to Bob?
69. What is it best to do when
the winter star appears?
70. Is it worth leaving a house
carpenter for sweet Willie?
Forthcoming appearances:
Call Mike for updates on San
Juan Island where he performs once a week.
By appointment at the English
Camp Visitors Center, San Juan Island, WA. For information/confirmation
call
360.378.2902 (Park)
360.378.6313 (Mike)
Mike Cohen
P.O. Box 1605
Friday Harbor, WA 98250
360.378.6313
Send email
Little known
Facts about the 5-String Banjo (FSB) and those who play it.
True: The FSB comes from the 17th Century combination
of an African Drum head and the Violin, then called a Banjar.
The 5th string drone and extended neck was added by Joe Sweeney
in 1837.
Almost True: The FSB is different than a:
Guitar because you can tune a Guitar, a Guitar holds
more beer, and makes a better canoe paddle.
Trampoline because you take your shoes off to
jump on a trampoline
Onion because no one cries when you cut up an FSB.
Dead Skunk because there are no skidmarks on
the road in front of an FSB.
A masked man entering a bank
with a FSB case produces hysteria because he actually might play
it.
Perfect pitch means throwing
a FSB into a dumpster without hitting the rim.
People take an instant dislike
to the FSB because it saves time.
An FSB's range is as far as
you can kick it.
You prevent a FSB player from
drowning by taking your foot off his head.
Never drive off a cliff in
a minivan with three FSBs in it; you can fit one more in.
The least-used sentence in
our civilization is "Isn't that the FSB player's Porsche?"
The most common thing said
to an FSB player in a three-piece suit is "Will the defendant
please rise?"
Ten FSBs at the bottom of the
ocean are called a good start.
You can tell an FSB player
because he or she thinks the instrument is in tune when the strings
are equally tight and the pegs line up and are welded in place.
If lost in the desert and you
see a good FSB player, a bad FSB player and an oasis, aim for
the bad FSB player because the others are only figments of your
imagination.