Lawns: Our Disconnected Story World
in Action
Submitted by a Course Participant, Author Unknown
Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we've
come up with outside of cigarettes; we constantly battle dandelions, Queen
Anne's lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive naturally,
so we can grow grass that must be nursed through an annual four-step chemical
dependency.
Imagine the conversation The Creator might have
with St. Francis about this:
"Frank, you know all about gardens and nature.
What in the world is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the
dandelions, violets,thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect,
no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand
drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms
attracted butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to
see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles."
"It's the tribes that settled there, Lord.
The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to
great extent to kill them and replace them with grass."
"Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful.
It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms.
It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want
all that grass growing there?"
"Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains
to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass
and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn."
"The spring rains and cool weather probably
make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy."
"Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows
a little, they cut it - sometimes twice a week."
"They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?"
"Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it
up and put it in bags"
"They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do
they sell it?"
"No, Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to
throw it away."
"Now let me get this straight. They fertilize
grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to
throw it away?"
"Yes, sir."
"These Suburbanites must be relieved in the
summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows
the growth and save them a lot of work."
"You aren't gonna believe this, Lord. When
the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money
to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it."
"What nonsense. At least they kept some of
the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The
trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer.
In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep
moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot,
the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life."
"You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites
have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into
great piles and have them hauled away."
"No! What do they do to protect the shrub
and tree roots in the winter and keep the soil moist and loose?"
"After throwing away your leaves, they go
out and buy something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it
around in place of the leaves."
"And where do they get this mulch?"
"They cut down trees and grind them up."
"Enough. I don't want to think about this
anymore. Saint Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have
you scheduled for us tonight?"
"Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid
movie about........."
"Never mind, I think I just heard the whole
story."
* * * * *
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