Lawns: Our Disconnected
Story World in Action
Submitted by a Course Participant, Author
Unknown
Grass lawns have to be the stupidest
thing we've come up with outside of cigarettes; we constantly
battle dandelions, Queen Anne's lace, thistle, violets, chicory
and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must
be nursed through an annual four-step chemical dependency.
Imagine the conversation The Creator
might have with St. Francis about this:
"Frank, you know all about gardens
and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the USA?
What happened to the dandelions, violets,thistle and stuff I
started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan.
Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and
multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms
attracted butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I
expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see
are these green rectangles."
"It's the tribes that settled there,
Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds'
and went to great extent to kill them and replace them with grass."
"Grass? But it's so boring. It's
not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees,
only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures.
Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?"
"Apparently so, Lord. They go to
great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring
by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops
up in the lawn."
"The spring rains and cool weather
probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites
happy."
"Apparently not, Lord. As soon
as it grows a little, they cut it - sometimes twice a week."
"They cut it? Do they then bale
it like hay?"
"Not exactly, Lord. Most of them
rake it up and put it in bags"
"They bag it? Why? Is it a cash
crop? Do they sell it?"
"No, Sir. Just the opposite. They
pay to throw it away."
"Now let me get this straight.
They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow,
they cut it off and pay to throw it away?"
"Yes, sir."
"These Suburbanites must be relieved
in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat.
That surely slows the growth and save them a lot of work."
"You aren't gonna believe this,
Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses
and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it
and pay to get rid of it."
"What nonsense. At least they kept
some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do
say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide
beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the
ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil
and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves
form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life."
"You better sit down, Lord. The
Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall,
they rake them into great piles and have them hauled away."
"No! What do they do to protect
the shrub and tree roots in the winter and keep the soil moist
and loose?"
"After throwing away your leaves,
they go out and buy something they call mulch. They haul it home
and spread it around in place of the leaves."
"And where do they get this mulch?"
"They cut down trees and grind
them up."
"Enough. I don't want to think
about this anymore. Saint Catherine, you're in charge of the
arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?"
"Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a
real stupid movie about........."
"Never mind, I think I just heard
the whole story."
* * * * *
Return to Karen's story to complete
that page
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